Nothing Left To Stay Sane
by I wish to fly with dragons
Summary: How much can you take? When will you finally break? Who is the one person that can make you lose your sanity if they leave? What will you do when there is nothing left to stay sane?


Nothing Left To Stay Sane

Stone walls are never any good at keeping out the cold. Ice crystals hang from the walls in sheets. A poorly patched stone ceiling with spider web cracks hold up rusted and dented pipes. The floor is covered in ice, the ankle high water turned long ago. The iced floor bites and nips at anything that dares trespass on it. The air in the room is crisp and still, no sound, no warmth, no love. The only thing that does not look like it was made of ice is in the front of the room. A rusty and thick cell door so large the top is almost unseen. The only life in the frosted room is in the center. But even then, that life is nothing but a rotting form.

The rotting form rocks to and fro on the stinging floor. The skin is so pale it tints blue and looks as if it is molded to the bones. Wisps of dirty hair hang in front of shrunken and clouded empty blue eyes that look at the barren walls. The eyes look on and on, but see nothing. Empty sockets would work just as well. The ragged hair, which was once as radiant as the sun, hangs to deflated shoulders in clumps of grim and blackened blood. Gaunt arms hold knobby knees to the shriveled chest so a limp head can rest on the knees.

Tucked between the legs and chest is a toy so burnt and dirty, it is almost unrecognizable as to what it really is. The stuffed thing is in the shape of a mauled animal. Looking closer to the toy, only one ear is still on. The eyes look to be torn out, and the nose has been rubbed off. It has only two legs, the left front and back legs. Black and moldy stuffing comes out of the holes where the right legs use to be. The only think that helps with telling what the toy may have been in its happier days is its tail. Slathered in muck and aged blood the tail is in a matted mess. But the tail is long and is undeniably a fox's tail. Poor little fox toy, what was once a child's pride and joy, is now a useless rag. So old and worn out this toy is that its head is held to its body by a burnt and unraveling ribbon that may have once been the color of lavender.

Eroding toes curl inward for protection from the frosted floor. Small puffs of air come out of the rotting man. Shivers' running up and down the rag covered back shakes the entire frame of the ragged soul.

"Cold, it's so cold" is whispered in a small whimper from the form that is a wasted man.

"Well, it is your own fault. So try and suck it up."

The rag covered frame whipped its head to the back of the stone room. The dull eyes come to life. The shaking becomes more intense as a crazed look takes over the empty eyes. The holder of the voice is lounging on the other side of the rusting metal door.

"Oh no, please no, oh Kama-sama no, oh no. No you, not again, not you!" The man wails as he slams his eyes shut. Decaying fingers come up and tangle in the dirty hair, pressing the filthy scalp with all the force the weak man can muster. The boned fingers clamp onto the matted hair and tug. The worn fox falls to the floor with a small thump. "Not again." Is chanted and sobbed and echoed through the stone prison.

"Shutting your eyes won't make me go away. Besides, who else will come to you?" The menacing voice seems to be coming in all directions. "What a shame, no one loves you." Red eyes shine with humor with every word that is spoken.

"Others will come! She will come to me! Hinata will come, and Hiruzen and little Minato will come! They will come and bring the others!" The poor wisp of a man cries in despair. "They will come! They will come!"

"Really, you can raise the dead? How interesting! Well let's call them then! Oh Hinata! Come here my dear Hinata! Your husband wants you! Bring little Minato, and see if you can get Hiruzen too, if they are not yet too decayed to move."

"Stop it! Just stop it! They're not dead! They will come for me!"

"The dead can't walk!" The nightmare laughs in a deranged voice. The nightmare knows that it will die soon. No matter how smart or strong it may be, it will fall just like the lowly mortals. Dying just like the things that the nightmare thinks are below it has put a nasty twist in its all ready knotted mind.

"They're not dead!"

"They're rotting away in the graves right now! Sweet, dear Hinata has maggots in her eyes. All the dead do. Look at you! Look at yourself you worthless human! You're so close to death the maggots are already visiting you! You are weak and useless!" If the nightmare is going to die, he will have his last fun in hurting his jailer.

"NO!" The ragged man has had enough. His head snaps up, with bloody patches on his scalp. Some of the grime filled hair is now limp and swaying in the decaying fingers with red tipped ends. Crying till his voice is raw and cracking the freezing man rocks back and forth, clawing at his blue tinted skin to sweep away any maggots that would dare try to climb on him. The red claw marks ooze blood in trickles down the frail paper skinned cheeks, making the cheeks look like tic-tac-toe boards from the newly added blood strips, and the old scared black ones.

Falling to the side, the man curls into a ball around the moldy toy on the iced floor, and cries into slumber.

_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_

The smell of salty broth and dust fill the twilight air. Children are ushered into their homes buy tired moms and the shop owners are closing down after a warm summer day. A light to the right shows that a booth is still open. Walking to the restaurant and pushing back cloth flaps, a small voice, barely over a whisper, calls out "Naruto-kun?"

Tall, golden haired, and tanned, the man that sits on one of the many warn, but sturdy stools, is every plum haired girls dream. Waving chop sticks in the air signal that the soft words are heard. Turning around the man gives a foxy grin.

"Hey Hinata-chan! What's up? Are you here for some of Ichiraku's great and famous ramen?" Slurping is heard as Naruto turns around and takes another bite of his ramen.

"N-n-no I-I-I a-a-a-m-m-m." Flustered about the stuttering, cheeks go pink. Hinata grips the cloth that hides her and Naruto from prying eyes tighter. She looks down to calm herself, a deep breath is taken, and she looks up before starting again. "No, I am here for you."

Naruto takes a gulp of his ramen before spinning around on the stool and raises' a blonde eye brow. "Me? What for? Does Baa-chan have a mission for me? I've been begging for a long time now to get one!" As Naruto starts to ramble about the lack of missions, Hinata sees her chance slipping away. 'What do I do?' She tries to think of a way to bring him back to her, and not his last mission. 'What do I do?'

Slowly but surely her confidence is slipping away. In one finial move, before all nerve is lost, she does the only thing she can think of. She does the one trick that most women learn. The one trick that she sees her friends do, what she has seen her own mentor do. She lets go of the curtain, leans forward, and effectively shuts the boy of her affection up.

Both blue and lavender eyes go wide. The stall is silent except for the rattle of a boiling kettle and the owner and his daughter in the back prepping for tomorrow's crowd. Both sets of cheeks go red. When the lips part they only stray an inch from each other. Several deep breaths are taken before the first words are spoken.

"W-w-would you like to have some ramen with me?"

"Y-y-yes, I would l-l-like that very much."

_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_

You could still hear explosions from the battle field in the small cabin room. Dressed in tattered and bloodied armor Naruto stands in the front of the room. Kakashi is standing there in front of him whit what can only be guessed as a smile under that mask of his. A few friends are there, as well as all of the injured Konoha and Suna ninja. Naruto straitens his armor and flicks dried blood from his hair. Another blast is heard.

The doors to the make shift hospital open and Hinata is escorted in by Ten-Ten. Even with the wild flowers bouquet in her hand, you can still see the dried blood under her nails from her last patient. With a faster walk then tradition, Hinata is given away and stands before Naruto.

"All right then. Um, you both love each other?"

"Yes."

"Yes."

"And will still love each other even if wealthy or poor, healthy or sick, Sane or crazy?"

"Yes."

"Yes."

"Okay then! Any objections from the peanut gallery? No? All righty then, I pronounce you man and wife!" Applause is heard as Naruto and Hinata share their first kiss as husband and wife. The doors burst open and a red head enters saying that Hinata is needed in surgery. At the same time a bald Konoha Shinobi comes in through a window telling Naruto and Kakashi that the platoon is ready to leave.

"We can have a better wedding when we get back to Konoha. You can be in a fancy Kimono and I won't be covered in blood." Naruto whispers in her ear.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." One last kiss is shared before they go back to the war.

_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_

Waking up to the birds singing is a nice way to start the day, not hearing your wife throwing up. Getting up and rinsing out her mouth, Hinata sighs and leans against the counter.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine it's just the bug that is going around. I am going back to bed though." As Hinata climbs back into bed Naruto starts to climb back in as well. Giggling Hinata informs him that he still has to go to work. With a sigh and pout the robes are put back on.

"I haven't missed a day in weeks! Surely I can be an hour late."

"Whining is unbecoming of a hokage." Is laughed out from under the covers.

"Ha, now I know why Baa-chan drank and Jiji smoked." Another laugh comes from under the covers. "All right, I'm off to fight the paper work!" As Naruto walks out the door he hears Hinata call to him. Turning around he sees that her head is out from under the covers.

"I love you Naruto." The smile on her face and the truth in her eyes make life better. Walking back over to her he leans down, kisses her and says "I love you too Hinata."

_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_

Seeing the Hokage of Konoha is a cool thing. Seeing the Hokage of Konoha fighting is a really cool thing. Seeing the Hokage of Konoha grinning ear to ear when staring into a toy shop is kind of creepy.

'Perfect.' Staring into the window the toy shop, Naruto sets his eyes of the perfect gift. Grinning ear to ear he rushes in side to perches his gift for Hinata. Getting it wrapped with all the works, bow, ribbon, and a frilly bag, Naruto sets home.

Walking into the home, with the bag behind his back, he makes his way to the kitchen. Leaning against the counter and watching Hinata prepare their dinner is something he could do forever. She turns around after cutting and putting the homemade noodles into their broth. With a smile she goes to give Naruto a kiss, but comes up short. With a giggle she points out that the baby is not even born and can stop Naruto from getting a kiss.

With a roll of his eyes, he leans down and places a kiss on Hinatas lips, and a pat on her eight month baby bump. "If he is able to stop us from kissing before he is even born, then he might just not be able to have a little sibling." Hinata laughs again and leans into Naruto and wraps her arms around him. Her eyes scrunch up then an eyebrow is raised when she looks to Naruto.

"What's behind your back?" A cheshire cat could not have grinned as wide.

"Why, a gift for you of course!" With a roll of her lavender eyes she snatches the bag from Narutos' hand. 'What could it be?' Hinata tears open the bag flings out the colorful paper filling and gasps at the item inside.

"Oh Naruto!" Lifting out the toy she laughs at the stuffed fox with a lavender ribbon around its neck. "It's so cute! " Standing on tip toes this time, she reaches up to give Naruto another kiss.

"I thought you would like it."

_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_

A screech fills the home and Hinata leaves the dinner table to go and check on Minato. A dark haired, pale skinned, and white lavender eyes with just a hint of blue, watch his Kaa-san go. He is only three yet has a sharp mind.

"Oto-san?"

"Yes Hiruzen?"

"Why does Otouto cry?"

"For many reasons, he could be hungry, or need changed, or is just lonely." Hiruzen is quiet for some time before asking.

"Where did he come from?" Coughing and sputtering and strained chuckles are all Hinata can hear as she rocks Minato back to sleep in his nursery.

_/\_/\_/\_/\_

Hot ash filled air is breathed into his lungs. Loud sirens ring in alerts. The trees are starting to be consumed by the hungry fire. Naruto looks at the burning inferno. In the center of the ball of fire is the burned and charred place that was a house, a home, his home. The home Hinata and he moved into right after they got back to Konoha as husband and wife. The kitchen where he would sit and watch Hinata cook. The living room, where they would move back the couch and seats so they could slow dance. The master bedroom, where they made love. The home they made a family in, was gone.

The play set he build when he first heard he was going to be a father is nothing but ash. Hinatas herb garden that she spent so much time carrying for to make medicines to help the Shinobi of Konoha, and even Suna's Shinobi, blackened and dead. The swing where he rocks Minato when he gets hope is just gone, even the metal chains are not there. The tree he taught Hiruzen to walk up is disintegrated.

Another raspy breath is breathed in. He looks around him with despair. His Shinobi start to put out the fire before it becomes to wild to control.

"Hokage-sama." A rat ANBU is at his side.

"What?" Is all that the blonde hokage can manage to rasp out of his dry throat.

In the ANBU's softest voice he said the Hokages worst nightmare. "We found several exploding seals around the parameter. When set off, everything inside the seal circle went up."

"And?" The most simple of questions, may hold the most terrifying answers. Holding up a singed fox toy with two legs and an ear burnt off, the ANBU whispered.

"I am very sorry Hokage-sama, this is the only item that was not incinerated." Naruto knows the answer, but still asks.

"And Hinata? My children, Hiruzen and Minato?"

"No Hokage-sama, they are gone."

_/\_/\_

A heart monitor is turned off after a minute of flat lines. A sunny day is seen outside the window. Birds whistle to each other, dogs case their child owners. All is well outside the glass window. The only sound in the room that holds the window to the bright streets is breathing. A brown pony tailed haired man covers his eyes and takes in a sharp breath. His silver haired partner bows his own head and clings to the brunettes' hand. Kakashi gravels out in a soft tone.

"Call it Sakura."

"Time of death, 10:42 AM." It is such a short phrase, three words and the time. Only nine syllables long, so short, yet the hardest thing the head of Konoha hospital has ever had to say.

Kakashi squeezes Iruka's hand. Iruka wipes his tears and looks up with a smile.

"It's okay, I'm okay. He is in a better place now. He can see Minato smile and giggle when crawling to him to be picked up. And he can see Hiruzen cut a leaf in half with chakra. Naruto was so proud of Hiruzen! Only four years old and his son had such fine control! And he can be with Hinata again. I have never seen someone so in love with another. And once he fell for her, he fell hard. I thought I would never sleep again when he came to me and said the he was going to marry her, after two months of dating! Then what does he do? Gets married to her in the middle of a war!"

The group in the room all smiled at the memory of how the over confident, blonde, and bloodied man walked into the base camps hospital, got down on his knee, the one without the senbon sticking out of it, and asked Hinata to marry him when she was bloody from the elbows down taking out shrapnel from one of the Shinobi.

"Nee-san will be happier now. I just hope Hinata is not mad that he followed so soon after." Konohamaru chuckled. He was quick to find out that even though Hinata may have been shy, she could have a temper when in the right mood. The seventh hokage reaches over and runs his finger through the limp blonde hair that lies on the hospital beds pillow. His remembers how his nee-sans hair use to be silky, and as golden as the sun's rays. Now, after three months of being in a coma, and even longer since being out and in the sun, it is brittle and mostly white. The tanned skin has palled and the tall frame has shrunken. What use to be a strong body that held an even stronger mind has faded within a single year.

Iruka leans over and kisses his sons forehead, lifts the sheet, and places a burnt stuffed fox with a lavender bow around its neck in the arms of Konoha's greatest Hokage. "So many friends and family were lost during the war. All of the nations hurt and cried for its loved ones. Konoha was burned and on the brink of total destruction by the end. But Naruto did it, he brought us back the will of fire, the hope that we can still live and love. He gave it to us. He gave us back the will to live. And with all that giving, with all that hope, he saved none for himself. With the loss of his wife and children, he had no hope, no will, to stay sane."

/\_

'It's so bright.' Even with his eyes closed Naruto could still see the brightness behind his lids. A deep breath is taken and closed lids are opened. White, there were no floors, walls, ceilings, or doors, just whiteness. 'I'm not cold.' Warmth was all around, no ice walls, no rotting fingers or toes, no nightmare, just a soft warmth that is felt when you are by the one you love.

Another deep breath is taken, and the golden haired man lifts his back and loosely wraps his arms around his knees. Relaxed, calm, and at peace, Naruto looks around for something, anything. 'Where am I?' Standing up, he brushes off the seat of his pants, and sees color, orange. He was wearing his orange Hokage robe with the black flames at the bottom. Hinata had gotten it for him as a present when he was made the sixth Hokage of Konoha. With a fishnet shirt, black pants and black Shinobi sandals to finish the look. No weapons though, and no headband to hold back his hair.

'Am I dead? Is this Heaven?' He looks around again. 'If this is heaven, then the people here are rude. No greeting party? No hello? Huh, not even a ramen stand!'

"Hello! Is anyone there?" Is yelled out into the whiteness. Just as the last echoes fade, a small chime is heard. Twisting around to find the noise, Naruto spots a butterfly. Flapping its wings, the butterfly is coming towards him. Naruto lifts his palm to the small creature. As it lands, its' small feet tickle him. With pale lavender wings, the butterfly soon lifts off again and starts to fly away.

"Wait!" Naruto starts to run after the butterfly.

He does not know how long he ran, or how far, all he knew, all he felt, was the need to run after the lavender butterfly. When the butterfly stops, it turns around and lands on Naruto's shoulder. Looking at the butterfly, he starts to hear the sound of a swing. Those squeak sounds, up and down, up and down, up and down. Looking straight ahead, he sees nothing.

"Kaa-san look how high I can go!" A childes giggle is heard, along with a women's loving laugh.

Spinning around, Naruto sees a sight that makes his eyes start to water. In the clearing of a forest, a house sits. This house has an herb garden in the back and a swing on the front porch. Off to the far right it has a large tree with slash marks going up the side. And in between the house and the tree, is a swing set. A little boy with dark hair, pale skin, and white lavender eyes with a hint of blue, sits on the swinging seat. Laughing as the swing goes higher and higher, the child pumps his short legs to see just how high he can go. Under a small sakura tree in the shade a baby boy crawls on a blanket. Golden hair with light lavender streaks sit atop the baby's head in spikes. The child pushes it's self up on two legs. Sparkling blue eyes look up and try to catch a pink petal that is falling down to him with lightly tanned hands.

Pale hands wrap around the baby's middle to make sure the boy does not fall down. The pale hands connect to pale arms. The arms pick up the child and hold him next to a woman in a yellow sun dress. The babe reaches out for some hair to play with, but the long plum hair that falls to the women's waist is held back with a white ribbon. Setting the child on her waist and handing him a stuffed fox toy with a lavender ribbon around its neck, she walks over to the boy on the swing. Reaching out a hand to him, the dark haired child jumps of the swing and runs to her. Smiling to both of the boys she states that it is time for lunch, and they start to walk inside. With a large lump in his throat Naruto can only choke out one word to the women.

"Hinata."

Looking over her shoulder, Hinata smiles at him and says "Welcome home Naruto, you're a little early today."

Naruto starts to walk to his family. Hiruzen looks past his Kaa-san and smiles and waves at his Oto-san. Little Minato gurgles and raises his arms out to Naruto. Hinata laughs and sets Minato down on wobbly legs. Taking a step in Naruto's direction he starts to fall, but strong tan hands lift him up and bring him into an even stronger embrace. Hiruzen grabs hold of Narutos other arm and up he goes too. Burying his face in his son's neck he lets out a sobbing laugh. Noticing his tears Hinata asks if he is all right. Putting both boys in one arm, he grabs Hinata and kisses her deeply. Holding his wife, his son's, his family, in front of his home, he whispers in Hinatas ear.

"I'm perfect, I'm home."


End file.
